I’ve had a week away at my dad’s. Spending time with my kids, my extended family and my dad and step mum. It always comes with a bit of a health warning being with family doesn’t it. You all have your own shit going on, you’re thrown together in circumstances that might not be comfortable for you all, all dealing with your own life and stuff that’s in your head. Despite the changes for me and what’s been going on with girls, it’s actually been a joyful week. Before I went I was overthinking so much. Worrying about what people might think about the situation. I quickly realised we’ve all got our own stuff. No one really is that bothered by what others think, except for ourselves. I read this recently, and it does make lots of sense.
This was the first year not one person asked about dating. I’ve been going down to family week and events on my own for the last eight years. I’ve always hoped that at some point I’d have my date with me on holiday, being part of my family. It’s not happened with anyone yet, and this year I was more than ok about it once I was there, as I’m certain when the time is right it will happen. My guy since May is still there in touch. Not seen each other for a couple of weeks due to time away but this week is my birthday and we’re planning on seeing each other then. The kids have asked me out for dinner so I’ve had to change plans. I thought I’d see them early on but there wasn’t any communication until the other day when the said they’d really like to take me out, so I’ve snatched that opportunity. Awkward as I can’t ask Mr May along as that opportunity just doesn’t present itself yet. It’s the kids reaching out, and to bring a guy into that will just upset that aesthetic more than it needs to. Therefore the birthday will be a mixed bag of going with the flow and changing the day out I’d planned until the next day! Weather is looking great so beach trip 🤞
So how do we compromise with kids, and new relationship? Kids for sure come first but there are things I know I’ve done in past that has made the kids question that. Especially when Mr Gold medal was on the scene. Add friends into this mix and how do we get balance? I’m sociable and love my girls catch ups over my two friendship groups. I don’t think it’s ready to get balance right and I guess luckily Mr May hasn’t been about on any weekends since we met so it hasn’t been an option to spend time with him. Potentially though this next weekend, is the first weekend since we met in May that we should both be child free. And if this actually works out, we should have the potential to have some time every other weekend. So unless I’m actually away somewhere with him, the balance of girly get togethers shouldn’t be affected. I’m good at balancing these I hope 😳
So, where is my head at? Honestly, after a pretty lovely week away, is in an ok place. I didn’t like dropping the kids off and the middle one not thanking me or saying a proper goodbye but can I change that, no! Am I ok about having a few days alone since with no focus? actually yeah, they’re no different to any of my other child free days/nights I’ve had over the years. Am I looking forward to seeing Mr May, Actually pretty excited to see him again and see what could happen in our child free time if it works out. And you know what, if it doesn’t work out the weekends we thought, then what can I do, but accept it! Or change something! Life isn’t perfect for anyone, but I’m ok with rolling with it this week, (next week might be a different story but hey ho🤣).